Sophistication: Not my cup of tea

Sometimes I ask myself why can't I also be sophisticated and
portray a different me to the world outside, why do I always
have to be blunt, as if I don't care. The fact is I care, and if I
am investing my time with a person being blunt, it is not
because I want to hurt that person, it is just because I say
what I feel at that moment. Can't I be myself with
everyone whom I care. I should only pretend and be
sophisticated with people whom I don't care about,
I rather choose not to talk at all to them then to wear
the mask of sophistication. I have lost touch with many
people in this journey of life, but I always feel one only
loses someone if that person doesn't matter in the
long run, and if someone matters, he/she stays with
you all your life, even if your not in touch.

Who Cares!

It was Diwali out there and I was sitting in my room with my computer trying to finish first draft of this story. A cigarette,hanging from my lips, was throwing on my eyes as much smoke as was out there on the streets cluttered with people bursting crackers. I don’t know how much they were enjoying, they were supposed to enjoy, it was a festival. I also used to enjoy back at home as a kid and would burst crackers. But at this moment, at this hour the acrid smoke was suffocating me. Or was it that loneliness which was suffocating me? Either way it was not going to make any difference, or, then I did not care anymore. It was useless to care.

In this carefree world, who wants to care, anyway.